“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Jack Kornfield
Human life is precious. Every single person is valuable. Everyone is deserving of love, compassion, and kindness. And when we share those things to others, we can’t forget to extend it to ourselves as well. It is too often and too easy to become hard on ourselves and find ourselves in a rut. Show grace to yourself always, and be adamant about it. Very simply, you deserve love. And a great way to ground yourself and practice being kind and loving towards yourself is writing in a journal. Use these intentional prompts to have a moment of healing with yourself. Remember, no one is reading what you write except for you!
♡ what is your love language? how can you show yourself love using that love language?
♡ write 3 things you like or appreciate about your body.
♡ think about a time where someone made you feel appreciated and thought of.
♡ write about 5 small everyday things that bring you joy.
♡ think about the people you love and admire the most. what qualities do you share with them?
♡ we are all deserving of love, despite how often our doubts, insecurities, and fears try to convince us otherwise. write about how you are deserving of love.
♡ write about a time where you got through something difficult or scary.
♡ we all receive and express love differently but what does self love look like to you?
♡ what are some things that other people do that make you feel truly cared for?
♡ think about how you might try to comfort a loved one when they need it. how can you do that for yourself when you need it?
♡ what are 3 things you are good at?
♡ is there something you need to forgive yourself for? write about what comes to mind. (please be kind and gentle with yourself)
♡ what is something that recently made you smile?
♡ what are some things that make you a good friend, good coworker, good family member, etc
♡ what is 1 thing that genuinely brings you peace?
What do you think of these prompts? Will you be answering any of these in your journal? Which one was your favorite? Let’s chat in the comments below! ♡
“Be good to your hair. You wear it everyday.” – Unknown
Oftentimes, one cleanse of shampoo just isn’t enough. Luckily today there are a plethora of options on the market to choose from that specifically target dandruff and a dry, flaky scalp. So that can only mean that your dream solution to dandruff is waiting for you. All of these options are highly rated and under $30.
Disclaimer: none of the links included are affiliate links.
SCRUBS
deeplyexfoliate, refresh, and reset.
TPH by Taraji Never Salty Sugar Scrub
This amazing sugar based scrub has a dreamy formula that is cruelty free, color safe, and vegan and made of sugar crystals, apple cider vinegar, coconut and peppermint oils. Perfect for all hair types, this scrub has a unique applicator allows you to apply directly to your scalp and as you massage it in, it melts into a balm so you can easily rinse it out. This scrub promises to give you a dramatic difference and leave your scalp feeling super healthy and fresh.
This impressive scalp scrub has a fresh-smelling lush advanced formula made with 90% ingredients of natural origin such as vegan keratin protein, walnut and coconut shells, ginger and white willow bark. Unlike other scrubs, this one is gel-like and easy to wash out. Many reviewers said this scrub was effective at clearing loose flakes and their scalps felt gently relieved and soothed.
Hask Tea Tree Oil & Rosemary Pre-Shampoo Scalp Scrub
A hypoallergenic and color safe scalp scrub with a powerful blend of tea tree oil, rosemary, menthol and sugar. Get that deeply cleanse by exfoliating product buildup. This scrub works effectively to unclog blocked scalp pores and follicles while rebalancing oily, dry, or flaky scalps. And not to mention no sulfates, parabens, or silicones!
The girliest option on this while list! A vegan and cruelty free scrub that is creamy, lush, and refreshing. This multitasking scrub cleanses and exfoliates in one with a subtle and perfectly pleasant birthday cake scent. This scrub is perfect for people with fine hair as it promises to lift the roots and make your hair feel fuller. Oh, and no parabens, phthalates, sulfates or talc.
Sephora Collection Apple Cider Vinegar Cleansing Scalp Scrub
A spa-inspired hair rescue by Sephora that uses Apple Cider Vinegar as its star ingredient. Apple cider vinegar is a hair stylist approved ingredient with anti-fungal and anti-bacterial properties which will reduce your chances of scalp infection and itchiness. This ingredient also works to strengthen your hair follicles and restore pH levels among many other benefits.
This cruelty free, color safe, and vegan serum is infused with aloe, biotin, tea tree oil, and caffeine to soothe an irritated and stressed scalp while giving you a satisfying refreshing feeling. great for providing relief after a having a tight hairstyle for a long time or having a lot of styling products in your hair. This serum uses a unique applicator that allows you to apply directly to your scalp. A luscious and dreamy serum.
Another highly rated choice, this oil treatment has a simple but effective blend of tea tree oil, olive oil, and salicylic acid which make it super nourishing while effectively removing dirt and build up. Perfect for those with dry and sensitive scalps who don’t like anything harsh or tingly. You will be sure to mistake this oil treatment for a high end one.
VEGDDesign Essentials Scalp & Skin Care Anti-Itch & Tension Relief
Before cleansing with a shampoo, use this multitasking oil on your scalp to relieve that irritated, itchy feeling and promote hair growth. This light and silky oil has tea tree oil and aloe vera to soothe as it cleans and gently lifts flaky scalp buildup. Did I mention it’s made with no artificial fragrances, dyes or mineral oils?
From a drugstore fan-favorite, SheaMoisture brings us their anti-dandruff line with a pre-shampoo treatment for a more effective wash day. With a unique blend of apple cider vinegar, vitamin B3, salicylic acid, and shea butter, this pre-wash promises to gently exfoliate to remove flakes without stripping your scalp. Bonus points for not having any sulfates, parabens, phthalates, or mineral oil!
This impressive serum eliminates dandruff completely while reducing redness and inflammation without weighing down hair for heavenly results. This concentrated therapeutic formula with a unique blend of powerful ingredients such as 2% salicylic acid (for reduced irritation and itchiness and is known for possibly being effective for dermatitis), charcoal (to detoxify by drawing out dirt and oil), oatmeal and aloe (to calm and soothe a dry and stressed scalp). Definitely worth a try!
This dermatologist approved shampoo is a beautiful weightless option that will leave you with gorgeous dandruff-free hair. This shampoo is free of sulfates, parabens, gluten, alcohol, and mineral oil and has unique blend of powerful ingredients such as 1% zinc ( for anti fungal and anti bacterial properties! ), vitamin E, silk peptides, and calendula. Perfect for sensitive and easily irritated scalps, many users said this shampoo stands apart from other dandruff shampoos!
OGX Extra Strength Refreshing Scalp Tea Tree Mint Shampoo
From the beloved drugstore brand, OGX is their most scalp-loving shampoo. This lightweight formula ( which is sulfate and paraben free! ) is made up of some gorgeously rejuvenating ingredients such as tea tree oil, peppermint extract and witch hazel. Use this to completely remove scalp buildup without being too harsh on your hair.
This vegan and cruelty free, doctor-developed shampoo targets dandruff with ingredients like salicylic acid, tea tree oil, menthol, vitamin B5 and a unique herbal blend to promote a healthy scalp. This health-conscious rebalancing shampoo will completely get rid of dead skin cells and flakes, calm that itchy feeling, and help maintain scalp purity over time.
named best shampoo for sensitive and flaky scalps by top dermatologists and hairstylists, this vegan ginger shampoo uses a beautiful blend of naturally-derived ginger, vegan silk protein, white willow bark extracts. This will not only get rid of dandruff and dryness but it also washes away pesky loose flakes as it enriches leaving your scalp feeling totally renewed and refreshed.
This unique but effective and revitalizing shampoo is vegan, color safe, cruelty free as it relies mainly on tea tree oil and mint to remove oil and build up. This non-drying shampoo has anti inflammatory properties to support growth and a healthy scalp. Why a shampoo bar you might ask? It saves plastic, reduces waste, and you get a great scalp massage while using it.
“Time passes so fast. Make time to be still.” – Lailah Gifty Akita
it’s always a good idea to pamper yourself. no matter how accomplished you feel or perhaps don’t feel, taking time to nourish yourself is simply never time wasted. and with a few of these essential steps, you can have the most perfect pamper day yet to feel renewed and like a princess.
put on a matching pj set ♡
preferably silk or satin. second option would be a pointelle set. something super soft and pretty that makes you feel like the main character…
run a bath with your favorite bath bombs ♡
bath bombs are a bit underrated, I think they’re fun but also really soothing. and I think your inner child would really appreciate a bath with some cute girly bath bombs 🙂
tidy up your space where you’ll mostly be doing your pampering ♡
I think having a clean and organized environment encourages a clear and peaceful mind. I think we feel more put together when our space is clean. And especially when doing skincare or hair, having a clutter-free countertop makes that time spent feel more luxurious.
light your favorite candle ♡
preferably with notes of vanilla, amber, or jasmine but that’s up to you! and if you are low on candles, I am giving you permission to let yourself buy a new one!
make yourself a warm drink ♡
whether it’s tea, hot cocoa, matcha or chai. a yummy warm drink is essential for a pampering evening!
hair mask. face mask. hair oil. ♡
if you find this daunting, something that motivates me to do my hair or skincare is to have a new product to try out. this makes it more fun and gives you something to look forward to. it can be a small, inexpensive product!
take a moment to journal ♡
maybe you’ve been feeling anxious, drained, sad, pressured, unmotivated…whatever it may be, there’s no judgment here. maybe set a timer for 15 min or so and just release whatever you need to onto paper.
watch a comforting feel good movie ♡
preferably something you’ve already seen before. rewatching something you already know and love is always comforting but if you need girly movie recommendations, check here! https://tinyurl.com/d7zra6m4
do you think you’ll be a self care pamper night soon?! if so, what are your must-have essentials for a self care night? let me know how you unwind in the comments and please always, take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. sending hugs.♡
“I feel as if I had opened a book and found roses of yesterday, sweet and fragrant, between its leaves.” – L.M. Montgomery
Over the years, Anya Taylor-Joy has shared from time to time what’s on her bookshelf. Not only is this actress stunning and stylish but she also has an exquisite taste in novels as anyone can see from her favorite books. So compiled here are all of her book recommendations and we can definitely say, they are worth checking out. ♡
Disclaimer: none of the links included are affiliate links.
Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney
Frances is a coolheaded and darkly observant young woman, vaguely pursuing a career in writing while studying in Dublin. Her best friend is the beautiful and endlessly self-possessed Bobbi. At a local poetry performance one night, they meet a well-known photographer, and as the girls are then gradually drawn into her world, Frances is reluctantly impressed by the older woman’s sophisticated home and handsome husband, Nick. But however amusing Frances and Nick’s flirtation seems at first, it begins to give way to a strange—and then painful—intimacy.
In this psychological fiction novel, Joan has spent a lifetime enduring the cruel acts of men. But when one of them commits a shocking act of violence in front of her, she flees New York City in search of Alice, the only person alive who can help her make sense of her past. In the sweltering hills above Los Angeles, Joan unravels the horrific event she witnessed as a child—that has haunted her every waking moment—while forging the power to finally strike back.
“Walking in the forest one morning, a young man disturbs two copulating snakes–and is punished by the goddess Hera, who turns him into a woman. So begins Hold Your Own, a riveting tale of youth and experience, wealth and poverty, sex and love, that draws ancient figures into a fiercely contemporary vision. Weaving elements of classical myth, autobiography and social commentary, Tempest uses the story of the blind, clairvoyant Tiresias to create four sequences of poems, addressing childhood, manhood, womanhood, and late life.”
Patti Smith, a National Book Award-winning author, first presents an original and beautifully crafted tale of obsession—a young skater who lives for her art, a possessive collector who ruthlessly seeks his prize, a relationship forged of need both craven and exalted. She then takes us on a second journey, exploring the sources of her story. We travel through the South of France to Camus’s house, and visit the garden of the great publisher Gallimard where the ghosts of Mishima, Nabokov, and Genet mingle. Smith tracks down Simone Weil’s grave in a lonely cemetery, hours from London, and winds through the nameless Paris streets of Patrick Modiano’s novels. Whether writing in a café or a train, Smith generously opens her notebooks and lets us glimpse the alchemy of her art and craft in this arresting and original book on writing.
Nina Dean has arrived at her early thirties as a successful food writer with loving friends and family, plus a new home and neighbourhood. When she meets Max, a beguiling romantic hero who tells her on date one that he’s going to marry her, it feels like all is going to plan. A new relationship couldn’t have come at a better time – her thirties have not been the liberating, uncomplicated experience she was sold. Everywhere she turns, she is reminded of time passing and opportunities dwindling. Friendships are fading, ex-boyfriends are moving on and, worse, everyone’s moving to the suburbs. There’s no solace to be found in her family, with a mum who’s caught in a baffling mid-life makeover and a beloved dad who is vanishing in slow-motion into dementia.
In this collection of short stories, Angela Carter was a storytelling sorceress, the literary godmother of Neil Gaiman, David Mitchell, Audrey Niffenegger, J. K. Rowling, Kelly Link, and other contemporary masters of supernatural fiction. In her masterpiece, The Bloody Chamber—which includes the story that is the basis of Neil Jordan’s 1984 movie The Company of Wolves—she spins subversively dark and sensual versions of familiar fairy tales and legends like “Little Red Riding Hood,” “Bluebeard,” “Puss in Boots,” and “Beauty and the Beast,” giving them exhilarating new life in a style steeped in the romantic trappings of the gothic tradition.
Possession is an exhilarating novel of wit and romance, at once an intellectual mystery and a triumphant love story. It is the tale of a pair of young scholars researching the lives of two Victorian poets. As they uncover their letters, journals and poems, and track their movements from London to Yorkshire – from spiritualist séances to the fairy-haunted far west of Brittany – what emerges is an extraordinary counterpoint of passions and ideas.
In her youth, Tara was wild. She abandoned her loveless marriage to join an ashram, endured a brief stint as a beggar (mostly to spite her affluent parents), and spent years chasing after a dishevelled, homeless ‘artist’ – all with her young child in tow. Now she is forgetting things, mixing up her maid’s wages and leaving the gas on all night, and her grown-up daughter is faced with the task of caring for a woman who never cared for her. This is a love story and a story about betrayal. But not between lovers – between mother and daughter. Sharp as a blade and laced with caustic wit, Burnt Sugar unpicks the slippery, choking cord of memory and myth that binds two women together, making and unmaking them endlessly.
I Dreamed I Was a Very Clean Tramp by Richard Hell
From an early age, Richard Hell dreamed of running away. He arrived penniless in New York City at seventeen; ten years later he was a pivotal voice of the age of punk, cofounding such seminal bands as Television, The Heartbreakers, and Richard Hell and the Voidoids—whose song “Blank Generation” remains the defining anthem of the era, an era that would forever alter popular culture in all its forms. How this legendary downtown artist went from a bucolic childhood in the idyllic Kentucky foothills to igniting a movement that would take over New York and London’s restless youth culture—cementing CBGB as the ground zero of punk and spawning the careers of not only Hell himself, but a cohort of friends such as Tom Verlaine, Patti Smith, the Ramones, and Debby Harry—is a mesmerizing chronicle of self-invention, and of Hell’s yearning for redemption through poetry, music, and art. An acutely rendered, unforgettable coming-of-age story, I Dreamed I Was a Very Clean Tramp evokes with feeling, lyricism, and piercing intelligence both the world that shaped him and the world he shaped.
Just under 300 pages, Kink is a dynamic anthology of literary fiction that opens an imaginative door into the world of desire. The stories within this collection portray love, desire, BDSM, and sexual kinks in all their glory with a bold new vision. The collection includes works by renowned fiction writers such as Callum Angus, Alexander Chee, Vanessa Clark, Melissa Febos, Kim Fu, Roxane Gay, Cara Hoffman, and more, with Garth Greenwell and R.O. Kwon as editors. The stories within explore bondage, power-play, and submissive-dominant relationships; we are taken to private estates, therapists’ offices, underground sex clubs, and even a sex theater in early-20th century Paris. While there are whips and chains, sure, the true power of these stories lies in their beautiful, moving dispatches from across the sexual spectrum of interest and desires, as portrayed by some of today’s most exciting writers.
Mona, a Peruvian writer based in California, presents a tough and sardonic exterior. A woman writer of color treasured at her university for the flourish of rarefied diversity she brings, pokes fun at American academic culture and its fixation on identity. When she is nominated for “the most important literary award in Europe,” Mona sees a chance to escape her downward spiral of substance abuse and erotic distraction, so she heads to a village in Sweden. But she is stuck in the company of all her jet-lagged―and mostly male―competitors. Isolated as they are, the writers do what writers do: exchange compliments, nurse envy and private resentments, stab rivals in the back, and hop in bed together. All the while, Mona keeps stumbling across the mysterious traces of a violence she cannot explain. As her adventures unfold, Mona finds that she has not so much escaped her demons as locked herself up with them in the middle of nowhere. In Mona, Pola Oloixarac paints a hypnotic, scabrous, and ultimately jaw-dropping portrait of a woman facing down a hipster elite to which she does and does not belong. A survivor of both patronization and bizarre sexual encounters, Mona is a new kind of feminist. But her past won’t stay past, and strange forces are working to deliver her the test of a lifetime.
When Olivia Laing moved to New York City in her mid-thirties, she found herself inhabiting loneliness on a daily basis. Increasingly fascinated by the most shameful of experiences, she began to explore the lonely city by way of art. Moving from Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks to Andy Warhol’s Time Capsules, from Henry Darger’s hoarding to David Wojnarowicz’s AIDS activism, Laing conducts an electric, dazzling investigation into what it means to be alone, illuminating not only the causes of loneliness but also how it might be resisted and redeemed.
With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as an older woman. Utterly courageous, uproariously funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a scrumptious, irresistible treat of a book, full of truths, laugh out loud moments that will appeal to readers of all ages in just under 200 pages.
Given the initials F.A.D. at birth, Fiona Alison Duncan has always had an eye for observing the trends around her. But after years of looking for answers in books and astrological charts and working as a celebrity journalist to make rent, Fiona discovers another way of existing: in the Real, a phenomenological state few humans live in. Fiona’s journey to the Real takes her to Koreatown, Los Angeles, where she sublets a room in La Mariposa. There, in the aftermath of a reality TV deal gone wrong, Fiona asks the question, Can you rewrite your life?
Journalist, party girl, bookworm, artist, muse: by the time she’d hit thirty, Eve Babitz had played all of these roles. Immortalized as the nude beauty facing down Duchamp and as one of Ed Ruscha’s Five 1965 Girlfriends, Babitz’s first book showed her to be a razor-sharp writer with tales of her own. Eve’s Hollywood is an album of vivid snapshots of Southern California’s haute bohemians, of outrageously beautiful high-school ingenues and enviably tattooed Chicanas, of rock stars sleeping it off at the Chateau Marmont. And though Eve’s prose might appear careening, she’s in control as she takes us on a ride through an LA of perpetual delight, from a joint serving the perfect taquito, to the corner of La Brea and Sunset where we make eye contact with a roller-skating hooker, to the Watts Towers. This “daughter of the wasteland” is here to show us that her city is no wasteland at all but a glowing landscape buffeted by earthquakes and the Santa Ana winds—and every bit as seductive as she is.
“It is beautiful to express love and even more beautiful to feel it.” – Dejan Stejanovic
Affirmations can be incredibly helpful in a healing process. A sad truth is that us women are always bombarded with these evolving messages of what we’re supposed to look like. It really takes a conscious decision to say, “you know what, I’m not going to listen to anything else, I’m perfectly fine the way I am. I don’t need to look like anyone else, I am myself and that is enough.” And let me tell you, if you are even thinking of that decision, that is truly something commendable and I am applauding you. I can only hope you are applauding yourself as well, as you should be. We tend to forget these things and it’s only fair we remind ourselves until we have it engrained in our minds and hearts.
I am beautiful regardless of my weight
I am worthy of love regardless of my weight
I am thankful for my body
My body is just as valid and just as beautiful as anyone else’s
I am so much more than my body
I am at peace with my body
I deserve to have a healthy relationship with my body
I am grateful for everything my body does for me
My body deserves kindness
I trust my body
I listen to my body
My body is always doing its best for me
I am willing to love my body the way that it is
Food nourishes my body and I deserve to eat when I’m hungry
I accept my body and I accept myself
If healing your eating habits is something that goes hand in hand with healing your relationship with your body, there is a digital food journal on our Etsy shop to guide you in your journey. It’s really simple, straight to the point, so you don’t get overwhelmed (and it’s super cute). It comes with more affirmations like these and it’s perfect to aid in your body goals. Whatever your journey is, sending you so much love and light. ♡
Feel free to check out the food journal and read more about in detail here! https://etsy.me/3EdzAoD
Hope it helps in any way possible! So so much love. ♡
The Coquette Journals 